I realised early on that getting this involved with the DC Reboot might be a mistake. Not because of Catwoman’s rack or Starfire’s bizarre lobotomy, but because… I get addicted to stories. Easily. If I watch two episodes of a familiar soap opera in a row, I’m there for another five years. I have been known to follow comics far beyond the point where they not only jumped the shark, but sold the shark in exchange for some seriously unfunny jellyfish.

When I have to know what happens next, I HAVE TO KNOW. So getting myself back into the habit of buying single issue comics weekly (omg weekly!) thanks to the handy dandy DC app on the iPad was… really, not a good idea.

This suspicion was confirmed when I found myself, instead of casually picking up the iPad some time on Thursday afternoon, beginning to check in from Wednesday evening, waiting for the app to update. It didn’t. Nor did it on Thursday morning. Finally around lunch time, the Comixology app updated, but not the DC one, which is where I had been keeping my comics. I didn’t want to change the system! Finally, after someone told me it didn’t matter which app I bought them in, I could shift them around, I cracked and bought the final issues I was interested in, of the New 52.

I only bought three. I meant to get at least five, but there weren’t as many issues I was tempted by this time around, and after almost buying Aquaman several times (seriously, Aquaman?) I backed away from the device. Well, not entirely. I also picked up Issue #2 of the (Miles Morales) Ultimate Spiderman which is, along with #1, the best new comic I have read this month.

But we ARE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS how awesome Ultimate Spiderman is.

I was almost relieved that the last few of the DC New 52 I picked up this week weren’t overly exciting. My to read next month is already as long as my arm. Still, carry on…

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #1
written by: Peter Milligan
pencils by: Mikel Janin

You know, I wasn’t going to get this one. It looked a bit silly. But it has Zatanna in it, and despite the whole mindwiping Sue Dibny fiasco of recent years, I have loved Zatanna since her pre-Crisis top-hat-and-fishnets-and/or-alien-insect-on-head days, back when she and Barry Allen had a Thing Going On. So I checked it out.

It was… odd. Mostly made up of characters I don’t know, from that other publisher, and there’s a John Constantine with a dodgy fake Cockney accent, and Batman is there AGAIN (honestly, is there any comic this month he didn’t randomly appear in, like the star of the original show popping into the spin off to prove it’s legit?). But I liked the swirly magic stuff, and I am intrigued by Madam Xanadu, and Zatanna is still Zatanna even if they’ve changed so much about her over the years.

It wasn’t bad. But, you know. It was no Ultimate Spiderman #2. Damn it. Has that comic spoiled me for all other comics?

VERDICT: I’m not sure if there was quite enough to sell me on the book, but I enjoyed what I read.

TEEN TITANS #1
Written by: Scott Lobdell
Pencils by: Brett Booth

I was intrigued by this one after the excellent Superboy, which seemed to tie into it, and then dreading it after the awful, awful Red Hood and the Outlaws. Both of which are by the same writer. MY BRAIN IT HURTS. I checked in, I saw some action and quite a bit of awww, Tim Drake’s all grown up, and Cassie was sadly not as cool as she is in Tiny Titans, and all I know about her is that she doesn’t like to be called Wonder Girl (so who are you, Cassie?) and then there was a bit of Superboy but not much which is good because Revelations Should Be In His Own Comic. Kid Flash was suitably brief and speedy in his appearance, but did not make it clear whether he was Wally or Bart. I am assuming Bart because otherwise there is some cross-generational stream crossing that is Just So Wrong.

Also the much heralded new gay character, Bunker, did not appear, nor any of the new characters. Though this wins bonus points over Justice League for a) having a cover that conveys both the overall shape of the future team, and that only half the characters will appear in the issue, and b) having one of the female teammembers appear in the first issue. Funny how much easier it is to do that when you have more than one girl.

Still, they get bonus points

VERDICT: It was actiony and fine and unobjectionable, but I did not love it.

THE FLASH #1
Written by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato
Art by Francis Manapul

Omg how dull was this comic? So very sad. I liked me a bit of Barry Allen back in the day (mostly the day when his wife was dead & he was off flirting with Zatanna) and I liked a bit of Iris Allen back in the day (when she turned out not to be dead but from the future and was chasing after Bart and Barry was dead) and I loved me some Flash (when Flash was Wally West and a bit of a screw up but lovable and one of the best things about Justice League Europe) but…

Yeah.

If you’re going to bring back legacy heroes from the dead, and I know you are, because you are DC and this is what you do, is it too much to hope you do something interesting with them? Because it seemed to me that I could have just gone and read an old Barry Allen comic from the 70′s and it would have been not that different to this one. And if you’re going to bring back the whole Barry-Iris romance in its early stages, can you do something to address the fact that the premise of Iris is basically the same as Lois Lane? Possibly by giving her more than a cameo appearance?

In short, bleh. Where is Wally West, one of the superheroes who had the most character development in the 90′s? Why is Barry so dull?

Should I have read Aquaman after all?

VERDICT: a blast from the past that should have stayed there. Can we have a Jesse Quick title instead next time please?

Tags: barry allen, dc comics, dc reboot, justice league, the flash, wally west, zatanna