ROBOTECH REWATCH 23: Fastest Wedding Plot Twist Ever

Picture 3 (1)Robotech will be rewatched after these messages.

THIS episode, people. THIS episode. Even knowing what happens, it blows me away every time. Of all the Robotech WTFery, and there’s a whole bunch of super uberWTFery still to come, this is the WTFest of them all.

And yet.

I ship it so hard.

Max and Miriya, you put the “whuh” in whirlwind romance and I love you to bits.

Episode 25 – Wedding Bells

Once Ms9 saw the title of this one, it was all I could do to make her watch it – and thanks to the spoilery Next Time announcement from last week’s episode, she knew whose wedding it was gonna be. Thanks for that, overly-invested and weirdly precognitive narrator. I only dragged her back to the show (words cannot describe how much she hates kissing and romancey stuff) with the promise of a knife fight.

Her eyes lit up. “With the happy couple?”

“YES, RAELI.”

“Well all right then.”

So Max is all dressed up for his date, worrying that his date might get mugged. This is hilariously ironic in so many ways, but only for about three seconds before Miriya attacks him with a knife, announcing herself as a Zentraedi who hates him.

Miriya: MAXIMILIAN PREPARE FOR YOUR DOOM.
Max: There goes our first date.

Max is not giving up on the possibility of getting to second base, and so he continues to be overly reasonable with Miriya while avoiding the angry thrusts of her wild stabby knife. He finally deflects her with a rock and runs for it, not wanting to hurt her.

Miriya: You might be a great man but what is a man compared with a Zentraedi?

Max grabs her spare knife from the tree trunk and fights her properly, beating her fairly. because Max is made of pixie dust and basically it’s impossible for him to ever fail at anything. Except reading body language. For Miriya this is the final humiliation and she bows her head, demanding he kill her.

Obviously that’s not going to happen, because while Miriya is aware this was an assassination attempt, Max is still firmly dedicated to the idea that they are on a date. He refuses to kill his would-be assassin on the grounds that she is beautiful and then…

Well, there’s kissing. (cue the URRRRGH from the 9 year old) But it’s weird anime kissing that involves Miriya literally floating in the air in slow motion as Max goes in for some tongue action.

And then, if that’s not enough…

Max: This might sound crazy but will you marry me?
Me & Ms9: THIS IS WHY WE NEEDED FROZEN, PEOPLE!

What follows is one of my favourite scenes ever, in which Max turns up to the officers mess/space canteen to explain to Rick that he is going to get married. Rick manages a spittake even before he finds out Miriya isn’t actually human.

Max claims that there are no problems that love cannot overcome and Rick laughs hysterically for a really long time which makes a lot of sense considering HIS LIFE EXHIBIT A.

Then Miriya turns up in a pink dress with her politeness A-game and Rick is suddenly convinced. Seriously. That’s what it takes. Hot girl wearing pink = true love.

Preparations for the wedding begin before even the mid-episode ad break. I’m not even kidding. It’s heralded as the first wedding in outer space as well as the joining of a human and a Zentraedi, and the SDF1 have pulled out all the stops to make it a day to remember as well as a clever piece of PR.

The honour guard of Battloids is especially awesome.

Oh and by the way? It’s televised, which means the Zentraedi get to watch Miriya Parino walk down the aisle.
Exedore trying to explain marriage to Breetai is kind of hilairawesome. I envision a future when the two of them are basically tooling around the galaxy in an interplanetary version of The Love Boat, bringing romance to all of their passengers.

Max_and_Miriya_on_their_wedding_dayMax and Miriya’s wedding cake is shaped like the SDF1. Your argument is invalid. Why are more wedding cakes not the shape of the SDF1?

Captain Gloval’s speech is… well. Political. It’s a lot less about the happy couple (who have been together for literally five minutes so, fair enough) and more about their current situation. His rant about Zentraedi atrocities is deeply embarrassing to Miriya, and Max and Rick both object loudly. The second part of the speech is a bit nicer, as Gloval continues that they can’t blame the individual Zentraedi for their actions.

Gloval: There is no reason that we cannot co-exist in peace.

On Earth, Admiral Hayes turns off the TV in disgust at Gloval talking about peace. Lisa tries to convince him that Gloval is speaking sense, that they need to try for a peaceful solution.

To her credit, she doesn’t turn a hair about the fact that Max has eloped with a Zentraedi. Lisa is unflappable in all things that don’t involve her love life.

Speaking of peace between their people, Konda, Rico and Bron have definitely paired off with the three bridge crew girls, who embrace them at the wedding and are delighted to represent human-Zentraedi compatibility with their new boyfriends.

Seriously, all this was BEFORE the ad break.

The wedding is not a symbol of peace for some – in fact, it convinces Dolza that the time has come to stop pulling their punches and wipe the humans out once and for all. I feel the need to pat him sympathetically on the head because hello, most military leaders would have done that months ago.

But never mind all that, it’s time for MINMEI TO SING.

AND ITS A NEW SONG.

After her describing the meaning of the upcoming song in great depth before launching into it, I was seriously geared up for ‘Stage Fright’ but we get ‘The Man in My Life/Here by my side’ which is a particularly dreadful song, like seriously awful, but is at least new.

It’s a bit exciting. Ms9 may have pretended to faint. She also claims very firmly that the actress (Reba West) playing Minmei is not the same as the one (still Reba West) who sings the songs, despite my claims to the contrary. Apparently both me and Google know nothing about these things.

Of course, the song is completely inappropriate to the wedding, unless the ‘he’ in the song is Miriya before the romantic knife fight, but let’s face it, Minmei’s songs are never about anyone but her.

The Man in My Life (lyrics)

Now that I’m sure I found
The man in my life I spend the days alone,
Chasing a dream

Why do hope and pray
That he will care?
He never stops to see I’m even there.

Why do I love him so,
He lives in a cloud.
Why can’t he hear my heart
When it’s shouting aloud?

If he could only see,
How I feel deep inside
He might come home and stay
Here by my side. Here by my side.

After a short break to listen into Breetai and Exedore plotting, we head back to Minmei just in time to hear a few strains of ‘To Be In Love,’ the only song in her repertoire that is actually vaguely appropriate. Aww, Minmei. Don’t ever change.

Several of the Zentraedi pilots under Khyron’s command have been shaken by the sight of Miriya’s wedding, not just because it’s one of their own marrying a Micronian, but specifically because it’s Miriya freaking Parino, total badass. If this squishy Protoculture thing has got to her, then nothing in the world makes sense any more, even (especially) the warfare that they have never questioned before. They feel as if they are attacking their own people, and many of them flat out refuse to obey the order to attack.

Sadly, not all of them.

A full scale alert sounds through the SDF1 and the wedding reception breaks up as the pilots all run for their ships. Max is given the option to sit this one out, but he doesn’t want to let everyone down. Miriya decides she will fly out with him, as she promised to stay by his side (and possibly because she was listening extra close to Minmei’s lyrics). Max is dubious but decides to “allow” it despite it being unsafe.

He does not comment on the fact that she might find it uncomfortable to be shooting her former allies out of the sky.

MS9 perked up a bit at the addition of spaceship battles to the episode. “Best wedding ever.”

Miriya, flying as copilot in Max’s ship, shows him a way to disable the Battloids without bloodshed. He agrees that it’s time to actually try to work towards peace. Rick asks what the hell is happening on that ship (“Snogging, probably” contributes my daughter) but understands when Max explains.

The other side is resisting as well, as the Zentraedi mutiny builds, Breetai is furious and pulls back the ships. Exedore is confused. Captain Gloval is confused. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON BUT NO ONE WANTS TO FIGHT ANY MORE, CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS ALREADY?

That’s Protoculture for you.

The battle is over. Rick lives in the apartment next to the newlyweds which means he gets woken up to the sound of Miriya setting fire to their kitchen and cooking the coffee pot (because of course your new wife should cook for you even though that is in no way in her skillset). Still, the chaos next door soon settles into giggling and wet kissy sounds.

So many reasons to wish they’d had a proper honeymoon somewhere else.

He muses on his own life choices, and his big brother’s advice about love – before you love someone, you should like them first. Rick likes Lisa, but he might never see her again. As for Minmei, he might have finally given up on her.

Because yeah, that’s going to happen.

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