ROBOTECH REWATCH 29 – Azonia is a Sex Kitten Now

Robotech will be rewatched after these messages.

They’re using the word ‘protoculture’ a lot these days. Anyone would think that’s going to turn out to be important. Stay tuned.

This is just embarrassing for everyone, Azonia.

This is just embarrassing for everyone, Azonia.

31 – Khyron’s Revenge

The Earth Forces have scored themselves a Robotech Factory, which means they should be able to build themselves a bunch of Battlepods, plus they have an excuse to talk about protoculture around the protoculture water cooler when not making things out of protoculture because protoculture.

Sadly the factory was damaged in the fight, so that was a slight waste of everyone’s time.

Turns out the Robotech Masters, light years away, have co-workers to argue with. These co-workers are also a matching trio, with different shades of hair, and as my daughter points out, they look a bit like David Bowie (AKA androgynous and dressed like glam rockers). They still aren’t totally relevant to the main plot, but maybe someday.

Back on Earth, Rick is called to deal with a disturbance at New Detroit City, where they find rebel Zentraedi stealing a protoculture chamber – i.e. a sizing chamber, the essential tool that Khyron needs to keep his people happy, and whatever size they like.

Rick prevents the theft with a side order of judginess at their poor life choices.

Azonia and Khyron chew out the officer who failed to prevent the theft. Weirdly, close contact with Khyron has turned her into a flirtatious sex kitten, which he finds vaguely embarrassing (you’re not the only one, Khyron) and is serving as his second-in-command despite the fact that I’m pretty sure she outranked him before.

Kyle is up to his old tricks, picking fights with the military (whoa, imagine if Khyron and Kyle teamed up – MIND BLOWN). When Rick tries to secure the protoculture chamber, Kyle and the mayor of New Detroit almost start a riot over the right of Zentraedi to change size whenever they want.

Minmei, watching from a car, daydreams about Rick and is embarrassed by Kyle.

Rick has to concede to leaving the protoculture chamber left behind in the city, which everyone but Kyle thinks is a pretty bad idea. Even the mayor is starting to have doubts about the safety of the issue. Minmei is cross at Kyle for humiliating Rick. Kyle holds true to his beliefs, which are that he is right about everything.

It takes less than a day before the rebel Zentraedi come back to shoot up the city and take the chamber.

After Rick gives his report to Gloval, who commends him for his tactful handling of the situation (even Gloval knows that Kyle is a dick and there’s only so much you can accomplish when he’s around), Exedore presents a report of his own to a core group of all our military-serving main characters. He and Gloval explain that the Zentraedi were created by the Robotech Masters as a perfect police force, which got out of hand.

As New Detroit City is taken apart, Kyle and Minmei huddle in a doorway and he thinks ‘what have I done?’
Ms9: Something absolutely idiotic.

To everyone’s surprise, Exedore’s theory is now that the Zentraedi and humans are not the same race at all – the similarity is a coincidence. The Zentraedi were created as toys of destruction by protoculture, genetically programmed for fighting and to be devoid of love.

I’m starting to suspect that protoculture is not actually a metaphor.

Rick and Lisa discuss this later in front of a sunset, and she suggests that no matter what everyone says, the Zentraedi and humans have a LOT in common.

Word comes about the attack on New Detroit and funnily enough, Rick flips out and blames himself.

In the wreckage of the city, Kyle desperately tries to hotwire a car while Minmei frets about how she didn’t stand up for Rick during their fight. Because of course, all this is her fault?

Khyron’s army, meanwhile, grows larger in all senses of the word. Big is better, baby.

Rick reaches the destroyed city, just as Kyle gets the car going. Minmei looks sadly out of the window while Kyle speeds them away, and Rick chases the car like a hopeless puppy.

Episode 32 – Broken Heart

Well, that sounds like it’s going to be a cheerful episode.

Minmei is giving a concert with her most recent song off the I Miss Rick album. Khyron’s battlepods attack, and for some reason no one has security set up specifically to deal with this, despite the fact that Zentraedi have been attacking her concerts since she was sixteen.

Khryon himself seizes hold of Minmei and Kyle, and only doesn’t squish them straight away because some of his own men are quite firm that nothing should happen to Minmei.

When Khyron gets in touch with Gloval and his men about the kidnapping, everyone freaks out because Minmei is, you know, THEIR SYMBOL OF EVERYTHING. Maybe they should have had a permanent protection detail on her, huh?

Azonia plays with Kyle like he’s a bendy Ken doll. Khyron is demanding the SDF1 in return for the hostages. His endgame, of course, is for them to get off this stinking planet full of human cooties.

Later, while teasing the prisoners, Khyron suggests that Minmei performs for them, which is a miscalculation because she kicks it up a notch with To Be In Love and the whole room full of Zentraedi soldiers have emotional meltdowns.

Khyron throws a hissy fit and accidentally squishes her in his massive hand.

Lisa has to break it to Rick that Minmei has been kidnapped and to her annoyance, once he gets over being upset, he’s sort of nostalgic and happy about getting to rescue his girl again.

Understandably, Lisa is pretty pissed off at him about his attitude.

“I’m afraid you’ll lose your objectivity.”

Rick lands so they can have their domestic in person. He admits he still loves Minmei but came to terms with never being with her a long time ago. That doesn’t make Lisa feel better.

In the Zentraedi rebel camp, Minmei and Kyle are in a cage built from adorable bendy forks. The bad guys are getting tanked, with Azonia in particular enjoying this magical human elixir called booze.

Kyle hurls abuse at the Zentraedi and Khyron responds by snogging Azonia to ‘demonstrate’ about how the Zentraedi have adapted. She is far more into it than he is. The combination of wine and occasional snogging has turned Azonia into, basically, a brainless moll who stands by her man and doesn’t have much else to offer the story. I find this distressing.

Meanwhile, Operation Starsaver (yes really) commences, with Rick Hunter front and centre.

Lisa’s codename is Pelican Mother. You all needed to know that.

Rick and Minmei both think it’s adorable that he rescues her. They’re so into this, because it’s the only aspect of their relationship that has ever made sense to them.

Kyle and Lisa end up having a barney on the ground afterwards, because they both have some frustrations to work out. He howls about the way Rick blasted his way in, and she defends Rick on the grounds that, you know, he got the job done.

Meanwhile the star-cross’d soppypants couple that is Rick and Minmei end up hurling themselves at each other in slow motion while Kyle and Lisa watch, open-mouthed.

Hilariously, the battle isn’t actually even over yet, but everything stopped for dramah. Khyron and Azonia flee the scene.

Lisa then goes to tap Rick on the shoulder and politely give him his next orders to pursue the Bonnie and Clyde of alien warjinks with SURPRISING RESTRAINT.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Captain, but Khyron is on the run and I want you to go after him.”

Okay, she let herself sound slightly sarcastic, but considering she’s his commanding officer and totally in love with him, I don’t think a little sarcasm is completely out of order.

Rick throws a hissy fit about Lisa getting in the way of his happy Minmei lovesnuggles, but eventually agrees to do his job. When he flies away, Minmei panics and chases after his plane, while Lisa attempts to stop her for safety reasons. If nothing else, Lisa is (mostly) a damned professional and isn’t going to let the symbol of human survival die in a horrible workplace accident to the tune of ‘My Boyfriend’s a Pilot.’

Everyone is sad.

robotech rewatchThis weekly rewatch of classic animated space opera Robotech is brought to you as bonus content for the Musketeer Space project. Thanks to everyone who has linked, commented, and especially to my paid patrons. You can support Musketeer Space at Patreon.